The Star Flyer is operating an unusual season on Northern Europe for Star Clippers. As part of that she attended the Hafensgeburtstag and took part in several parades, being the lead ship in the final parade of sail. Its always a pleasure for me to try unusual ships, but despite my 70+ cruises, this was my first sailing ship. We boarded by tender, with the Uberseebrucke where she was berthed being inaccessible due to the festivities. BEfore you board, you are made to sign a lengthy waiver which covers tendering and all kinds of sports. Our tender driver appeared to have been trained by Captain Schettino of Costa since we crashed into things repeatedly whilst attempting to reach the ship, including impaling ourselves on a security fence, getting a naval ship's mooring wire stuck under our canopy and repeated collisions with pilings. Not perhaps the most auspicious start, but then we are here to sail and the tender might be the end of the motor powered sailing perhaps?

Onboard, more forms, this time signing for your key which is attached to a string and flotation ball, just in case. My cabin, 135 was in the stern section, with everything you need, superb wooden furniture. Everything is designed to be fully yacht like and there are special closing latches on the wardrobe doors. The ensuite bathroom has a serious slope for draining the shower at any angle. The cabin has a small seat/ luggage stand but is otherwise compact and functional. My favourite thing are the specially weighted lamps which stay upright at any angle of pitch or roll no matter what.

Throughout the ship, there are some wonderful touches. A stair bannister carved to look like a mooring rope for instance. Another is wandering down a corridor and being confronted with the mast climbing up through the ship. The ship's public rooms include a library, described as edwardian in style. And there is the Piano bar with a central atrium skylight down into the dining room. The atrium skylight contains the swimming pool so it is to be hoped there are no 'wardrobe malfunctions' amongst the bathers. I say bathers advisedly since the thing is about the size of a large bath. On star clippers, watersports are to be enjoyed principally over the side, not on the vessel. Final public space is the 'Tropical Bar' which is between the 2 deckhouses and has been partially enclosed by canvas awnings.

After boarding, we enjoyed the lunch buffet and perused the programme. The buffet, in common with most of the food, was not bad but certainly nothing special or memorable. A steward with a bell wanders the cabin decks to announce the start of dinner. Dinner is open seating, but with a full ship, and 98% german passengers (we were the 2%), everyone turns up precisely on time. The dining room is wood panelled, and adorned with pictures of significant sailing ships. Unfortunately the dining room was probably the inspiration for the MSC fleet, and is horribly, uncomfortably crowded. It is difficult to get in and out of seats, or past other guests unless you are lucky enough to secure the end seats. Of course the passengers soon cotton on to this, and by day 2 we see the equivalent of the towels on sunloungers, and people are seated in the dining room 15 minutes before dinner starts!. The Maitre D' and hotel manager stand at the bottom of the stairs from the Piano Bar and I had assumed they were there to greet and seat but in reality they only did this for some. The Maitre D's principle role seemed to be to shoo people along the benches for the booth seats emphasising that 'we are full' so every seat must be used. And there are really not enough waiters to offer decent service. There is also, due to the cramped room, some handing plates along the passengers, never the mark of a line that considers itself luxury. The Maitre D' and hotel manager's attitude characterises most of the staff I encountered, borderline indifference and certainly not friendly, and frequently not undertaking the roles their contemporaries on other ships do. Ask for something at the Pursers office and the chap there can't be bothered to reach into a drawer behind him and says 'come back later'. The kitchen must also be cramped since at dinner, the buffet station in the centre of the dining room is commandeered as a supplementary preparation area and the ship's nurse seems to be pressed into preparing salads and starters.

Evening entertainment is strictly limited with the resident pianist offering either tunes in the Piano bar or on his electronic keyboard outside in the tropical bar. The outside keyboard has a distinct 'Maplin's Holiday Camp' tone to it. In the Piano bar for pre-dinner drinks, it is difficult to tell whether table service is offered, in fact by the end of the trip I still haven't worked it out. At least the drink prices were reasonable.

Our itinerary has a sea day heading for Texel (dutch island). Unfortunately the wind is too strong in the wrong direction and we barely sail, but instead motor along. Star Flyer has a lively but not uncomfortable motion with none of the snap and shudder big ships can produce. With the outside decks being so windswept, the utter unsuitability of Star Flyer for a Northern European itinerary becomes clear. With 170 passengers, there are just 63 indoor seats in the Piano bar and about 25 in the library. The cabins also don't have much by the way of seating and the result is people huddled up in coats trying to find somewhere out of the worst of the wind for most of the day. With the ship sailing on engine power, my aft cabin is noisy, so noisy in fact I am convinced that the engine must be in the cupboard under the window.

On the sea day, there are about 8 things on the programme, 4 of which are meals. One is 'Captain's story time which is only offered in German. Fair enough I suppose given the passenger mix but not what was advertised. That night is Captain's dinner, and again the food is unmemorable. This 'welcome aboard' dinner also saw the Captain come along, but as with every other time I see him in the dining room, he stays for only 1 course and makes little effort with the passengers. With such a light programme, I don't know what the 'Cruise Director' actually does.

On the final night before Amsterdam there is special entertainment with the 'crew talent show'. The most aimiable crew, the sports team, dress up as Abba for a cheesy rendition followed by the usual talent. The night before we were treated to a 'fashion show' for which read crew dragooned into wearing items from the ship sloop shop. I didn't expect much, if any, entertainment, but quite honestly I had expected that if there was any it would be slightly upmarket from the mass market tacky crap I can get elsewhere. Needless to say there was a baked Alaska parade and 'we are the world' singalong in the dining room followed by the heart rending speech about how we loved having you here and here are the tip envelopes....

Overall, the Star Flyer is a vessel utterly unsuited to Northern Europe itineraries, the food was unmemorable, the staff mostly indifferent and I can only conclude that one is essentially paying for the novelty of sailing on a Clipper ship. And a lovely ship she is indeed, but she has far too many passengers to be comfortable especially in the dining room. I wouldn't rule out a go on the Royal Clipper if the price, climate and itinerary were right, but that price needs to be about 60% less than those on the website to represent value for money. Star Clippers fares were almost Seabourn level, but ship apart, closer to an MSC experience.