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» Cruise Talk   » Crew's Quarters   » Funny thinks about passengers by crew (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Funny thinks about passengers by crew
chrisrotlmacin
First Class Passenger
Member # 4531

posted 04-26-2004 09:27 PM      Profile for chrisrotlmacin   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I been on the ships quiet long time and seen and hear many funny stories about passengers. I will give you a test of funny situations witch the crew have to deal with. Is quiet thru that we can write a book about remarks and questions made by passengers .The best writers they will be the front office personnel .Here are couple examples:

1. Sailing out of Seattle we made the regular boat drill for the passengers, I was a muster station leader and the ship start to sail from the port at the begin of the drill. At end of the drill, the ship been already on speed of 8-10 knots more than one mile from shore one of the passengers approach me and ask me: Sir can you tell me please what side is front of the ship ? I answer verbally and pointed the front side of the ship , and admiring the view he start walking to the front of the ship . I said my self: wow that was a good question!!!

2. Here one more this is a classic question: I get asked many times by passengers with the daily program on them hands “What time is the midnight buffet? “ no comment on that one maybe other cruise lines have a different time .

3. I ask once a lady a quaestion on the last day of the cruise. She was very pleasant and I ask her how the cruise was. She answers me: “The cruise was great; the only problem was that the microwave in my cabin was not working.” I answer: Maim, I am sorry I believe that is your Safe. No comment on that one.

4. And the last one: I was about to finish my night shift and I was passing by reception in way to the crew area .The ship suppose to drop anchor early morning before sunrise. One passenger was there and she ask the girl at reception: Do you know if tomorrow we are dropping anchor? The receptionist answers yes. Than the passenger ask one more question: do you know what side of the ship is sunrise? The girl was unable to give a precise answer and the passenger asks me the same question. I always try to make happy any passenger ask me a question, but on this one I was quiet blocked . I answer : Sir , depends on the wind direction . Quiet unhappy passenger left to a outside deck in search of sunrise , and my self in search of my bed and to a better answer if I get asked again same question .

And the list can go longer. Any one with other funny stories?

[ 04-26-2004: Message edited by: chrisrotlmacin ]


Posts: 233 | From: Romania ,the home country of Dracula and with the best cruise crew in the world | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
PamM
First Class Passenger
Member # 2127

posted 05-02-2004 06:51 AM      Profile for PamM   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Thank you chrisrotlmacin; I imagine you come across many amusing pax. Forgive me for butting in as I am not a crewmember, but:-
On QM2 I was at the Purser's desk and a chap came up next to me and inquired not too politely, "I am told my cabin has both 110v & 240v outlets. I cannot find the 110v outlets, where are they, all my gear is 110v, I need 110v."
The chap behind the counter asked him for his cabin no. which was just along from ours. Now all these cabins are identical as far as the fittings go. You can quite clearly see the outlets in Sky Room's photo here and I was giggling to myself as to quite how this chap could not see them, a mere 8" or so away from the 240v outlets which he had found, and this was the 3rd day.. not quite sure how he had been managing in the interim, and why didn't he just ask the cabin steward/ess?
The chap behind the counter did well to keep a straight face, said he would just check with xx department and made a phonecall, I left.
Pam

Posts: 12176 | From: Cambridge, UK | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Malcolm @ cruisepage
Cruise Director
Member # 301

posted 05-02-2004 03:26 PM      Profile for Malcolm @ cruisepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
A woman phoned the Purser and sad: “Help I can’t get out of my Cabin!.

The Purser said “Why Madam?”

She replied " I canot find the door”

He said “Don’t Panic Madam, can you see the bed?”

She said “Yes”

He said “Can you see the dressing table?”

She said “Yes”.

He said "follow the cabin wall along to the left, until you reach a door. Can you see it?”

She replied “Yes, but I can’t use that one, it has a 'do not disturb' sign on the door handle ”


Posts: 19210 | From: Essex (Just Outside London) | Registered: A Long Time Ago!  |  IP: Logged
Brian_O
First Class Passenger
Member # 3910

posted 05-02-2004 05:14 PM      Profile for Brian_O     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Malcolm @ cruisepage:
She replied “Yes, but I can’t use that one, it has a 'do not disturb' sign on the door handle ”


Aw c'mon, Malcolm. You made that up, didn't you. Noone is that stupid! Are they?


Brian


Posts: 2698 | From: Pointe-Claire, QC Canada | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
Malcolm @ cruisepage
Cruise Director
Member # 301

posted 05-02-2004 05:32 PM      Profile for Malcolm @ cruisepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Brian_O:
Aw c'mon, Malcolm. You made that up, didn't you. Noone is that stupid! Are they?

I was told it onboard the QE2, that it actually happened onboard the QE2 to an elderly American lady.

Hopefully it is NOt true, for her sake, and the sake of all our American members!


Posts: 19210 | From: Essex (Just Outside London) | Registered: A Long Time Ago!  |  IP: Logged
PHILPKH923
First Class Passenger
Member # 4064

posted 05-02-2004 07:35 PM      Profile for PHILPKH923   Email PHILPKH923   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Sometimes it seems that our more age challenged (LOL) fellow Americans take life very literal in their daily living.

However, I liked the anecdote. It was worth a few chuckles upon personal reflection. Got anymore Malcolm, et al?


...KenH


Posts: 259 | From: Shannondell | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
chrisrotlmacin
First Class Passenger
Member # 4531

posted 05-02-2004 09:45 PM      Profile for chrisrotlmacin   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Well the storry from Malcom i belive it . No offence . I hear worst than that. You will really not belive me if i will write it down .
Posts: 233 | From: Romania ,the home country of Dracula and with the best cruise crew in the world | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
PAT PETERS
First Class Passenger
Member # 4563

posted 05-06-2004 09:46 AM      Profile for PAT PETERS   Email PAT PETERS   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Having worked on many ships and having different stories of different ships and cruises. Two of the funniest question asked by passengers happened on the same cruise.
It was a P&O classical theme cruise.

The first question from an elderly passenger was, the sun was on the other side of the ship from her cabin. And wanted to know if the captain could travel in the other direction, so she could get the sun on her side.

The second came via an eight O'clock call in the morning to my cabin. 'A passenger on deck is complaining about the music'.
After taking advantage the night before, of a not having to awake early that morning. I was not to pleased at the early morning wake up call. We were in port and not many passengers stayed onboard usually.
After several more phone calls I had to investigate the complaint. Meeting the guests, I explained to them that it was not policy to have music in the morning on deck. To which they replied "Were very well of this, where complaining about the music playing".
After checking all the area's I returned to the guests and informed that there was no music playing. They then took me to the area of the ship where they could here the music. When we arrived the couple pointed to a Carnival ship, we were berthed along side and told me its coming from there.
After trying but not succeeding in resolving their annoyance (And not being able to tolerate them any more). I telephoned the Assistant Cruise Director to see if she could resolve the problem.
By the time she Arrived my suggestion to the guests had been for the Captain move the ship further along quayside. When they suggested this to the ACD I had to walk away laughing. I dont know what action the ACD took but she did'nt speak to me again that day.
SORRY FOR YOU IF YOU WERE THOSE GUEST FROM HELL.


Posts: 37 | From: LIVERPOOL | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
teensy1
Just Boarded
Member # 4727

posted 05-13-2004 10:24 AM      Profile for teensy1   Email teensy1   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
On my recent cruise aboard RCI's Explorer of the Seas, our CD, James Andrews gave us these questions which were ACTUALLY asked during our cruise: (i can't remember them all, but here's a selection)
1. Does the Crew sleep on the ship?
2. What elevation are we at?
3. Are the toilets fresh water or salt water?
(does it matter??
4. What happens if I flush the toilet while I'm sitting on it?
5. What happens to the ice sculptures after they melt?
6. Does the ship generate it's own electricity?
7. Can I pay for my Seapass account using my Seapass card?

I mean really - are people that stupid or was he putting us on??

mary


Posts: 8 | From: Michigan | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Commodore
First Class Passenger
Member # 1575

posted 05-17-2004 08:00 PM      Profile for Commodore     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I think they are putting you on. Those always make the "Top 10 stupidest questions list" on Carnival, and even the CD on NCL used some of those. But still- they are funny.

[ 05-17-2004: Message edited by: Commodore ]


Posts: 1106 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
Cunardcoll
First Class Passenger
Member # 1226

posted 05-18-2004 10:38 AM      Profile for Cunardcoll   Author's Homepage   Email Cunardcoll   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Aw c'mon, Malcolm. You made that up, didn't you. Noone is that stupid! Are they?

No , he didn't , captain Nick Bates told us the same joke on the Caronia.

Jochen


Posts: 947 | From: Belgium | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Cunardcoll
First Class Passenger
Member # 1226

posted 05-18-2004 10:41 AM      Profile for Cunardcoll   Author's Homepage   Email Cunardcoll   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
One of my collegues at work asked me this :
Does the ship generate it's own electricity?
I said : YES !!!

Jochen


Posts: 947 | From: Belgium | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Cunardcoll
First Class Passenger
Member # 1226

posted 05-18-2004 10:53 AM      Profile for Cunardcoll   Author's Homepage   Email Cunardcoll   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
others are :

Is there room for sunbathing on the Sundeck? (No comment)

Sir I just saw the Captain (surprised) , crew member answers : yes mylady , it's captains reception. , lady answers : well , then who is steering the ship ?? (scared that the ship will hit something).

in the middle of the atlantic on a Southampton-New York crossing :
Does the ship have to refuel before arriving in New York ??

Does the captain sleep in his quarters ??

but there are also good questions :

why do Cunarders always dock with the bow to the sea , while other ships mostly dock with the bow to another ship or like they entered port ??

Jochen


Posts: 947 | From: Belgium | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
simonjtaylor212
Just Boarded
Member # 4900

posted 07-21-2004 10:22 AM      Profile for simonjtaylor212     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Having worked on ships for nearly a year and a half, I was greatly amused, after having heard the 'do you live on board' story many a time from many a CD, to have been asked this question. May I add that this was after midnite, when I was DJ, when the ship had sailed at about 6 o'clock.
Posts: 1 | From: The sea, most likely! | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged
Barryboat
First Class Passenger
Member # 33

posted 07-21-2004 01:23 PM      Profile for Barryboat   Author's Homepage   Email Barryboat   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Standing at a stairwell...a passemger asked me.."do these stairs go up?" I point to the stairs in an upward motion and said "yes they do"....."but not like an elevator".

Another is..."where in the world do you keep the horses for horse-racing on deck, and is the deck big enough for that"?

On the Song of America, we often would cruise from port-to-port with a cargo or container ship not too far in the distance parallel to our course. While hosting pool games on deck one time and with a big cargo ship just to starboard about 2 miles out....I commented to our passengers that if they look to starboard they can see a Carnival Cruise Line ship...and I wonder what kind of games THEY are playing. Several guests came to me and asked..."is that really a Carnival ship?"


Posts: 1851 | From: Bloomington, Minnesota (Home to the Mall of America) | Registered: Mar 99  |  IP: Logged
Brian_O
First Class Passenger
Member # 3910

posted 07-21-2004 06:28 PM      Profile for Brian_O     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Barryboat:

Another is..."where in the world do you keep the horses for horse-racing on deck, and is the deck big enough for that"?


Barry,

A quick question a little off topic. On your website is a photo of a horse-racing session on QE2. Who is the guy in red calling the numbers? He looks like an American (initials E.D.) who worked on QE2 in the early 80's but left at the end of '83. E.D.'s brother Bob later became Cruise Director.

On topic story:

On a 1984 crossing I was sitting at the bar with one of my dining room table companions when she asked the bartender (name withheld to protect the guilty) in the Theatre Bar (now the Golden Lion Pub): "What is the boat train (to London)?"

He replied; "It's a string of small boats that they put together to tow passengers from Southampton to London ".

She responded: "Oh! That sounds like fun. Do many passengers take it? "

I almost choked on my drink at her response.


Brian

[ 07-21-2004: Message edited by: Brian_O ]


Posts: 2698 | From: Pointe-Claire, QC Canada | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
Mr_Cunard
First Class Passenger
Member # 4649

posted 07-23-2004 10:03 AM      Profile for Mr_Cunard     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
She replied “Yes, but I can’t use that one, it has a 'do not disturb' sign on the door handle ”


This is true i have heard it form a friend who has worked in cunard and it did happen!

Cheers


Posts: 132 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Brian_O
First Class Passenger
Member # 3910

posted 07-23-2004 06:46 PM      Profile for Brian_O     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Mr_Cunard:

This is true i have heard it form a friend who has worked in cunard and it did happen!

Cheers


Sorry guys, but I still don't believe it. Stories like this get made up by crew members all the time, are told to gullible passengers (such as my "boat train" gal ) who then repeat them at Captain's cocktail parties. Soon even the Captain believes them but it does not make them true. Hell, I've made up stories and had them get back to me as "fact" later. So Malcolm didn't make it up, but someone else sure did.

Brian


Posts: 2698 | From: Pointe-Claire, QC Canada | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
Tessa Rae
Just Boarded
Member # 4907

posted 07-24-2004 02:00 AM      Profile for Tessa Rae   Author's Homepage   Email Tessa Rae      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Quiet unhappy passenger left to a outside deck in search of sunrise , and my self in search of my bed and to a better answer if I get asked again same question.

Just say "the sunrise will be on the EAST side of the ship" and then walk quickly away before they can ask which way is east.


Posts: 1 | From: San Diego | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged
Stevie2020
First Class Passenger
Member # 4901

posted 07-25-2004 04:40 PM      Profile for Stevie2020   Author's Homepage   Email Stevie2020   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Tessa Rae:

Just say "the sunrise will be on the EAST side of the ship" and then walk quickly away before they can ask which way is east.


lol, that is a very good idea indeed.


Posts: 140 | From: Northamptonshire UK | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged
chrisrotlmacin
First Class Passenger
Member # 4531

posted 08-09-2004 03:25 AM      Profile for chrisrotlmacin   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Sorry i cannot paste the original mesage as the crew pc do not have the right click enabled , i keep in mind the answer on sunrise from east . Specialy new wen we cruise almost every day North /South with Norwegian Dawn will make my answer exactly .
Posts: 233 | From: Romania ,the home country of Dracula and with the best cruise crew in the world | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
chrisrotlmacin
First Class Passenger
Member # 4531

posted 08-25-2004 08:56 AM      Profile for chrisrotlmacin   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
This is a fresh one , best one this cruise on the NCL Dawn :
Embarcation day on fron desk : A lady (from NY)disperatly she complains that her lugage is lost her lugage . Front desk staff polite answer that is not any record of lugage and start checking . After 30 min she come back to the front desk and she appolgise , she just says : "Sorry they call from home ,we foget to take the lugage , we left the suitcases in the parking next to the house" .
Man i can say , Americans love cruising.

Posts: 233 | From: Romania ,the home country of Dracula and with the best cruise crew in the world | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
PamM
First Class Passenger
Member # 2127

posted 08-25-2004 12:46 PM      Profile for PamM   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by chrisrotlmacin:
Americans love cruising.

In so much of a hurry they left their cases on the driveway! LOL, I bet the reception staff had a good giggle over that. Surprised the lady didn't realise they had not dropped any luggage off when arriving at the docks.

But, Oh dear.. what to do now with no clothes etc and the first day at sea!

Pam


Posts: 12176 | From: Cambridge, UK | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
chrisrotlmacin
First Class Passenger
Member # 4531

posted 09-04-2004 02:37 AM      Profile for chrisrotlmacin   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
This one is number one this cruise :Witch one is the fastest elevator ??
Posts: 233 | From: Romania ,the home country of Dracula and with the best cruise crew in the world | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
PamM
First Class Passenger
Member # 2127

posted 09-04-2004 11:55 AM      Profile for PamM   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I guess you told them any of the others that they weren't waiting for? or the one furthest away
Pam

Posts: 12176 | From: Cambridge, UK | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged

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